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The European Funfair

Imagine the world as a funfair, with endless opportunities and thousands of diverse activities and adventures available to its customers.

Being a member of the EU is like having a subscription to fast track tickets, you have the best of everything. You get to jump to the front of standard queues (as you are loyal in terms of trading) and the ones designated to members is always shorter, because you are favoured above non EU countries. You also have quicker administration to the theme park so you can enjoy its benefits to the fullest, in EU terms this equates to less red tape and no exporter tariffs.

One of the most popular activities at this park is the classic game of hook-a-duck, its favoured by many and its simplicity makes it even better. This game represents the European single market, there are so many prizes available to you and with an EU fast track ticket you are guaranteed approval to take all your prizes home with no catch. The single market operates as a space where the movement of trade is both free and unrestricted without any internal borders, those who are not members are not excluded as such but they must work harder and for longer to ensure the same prize.

The fun-house is a place for those more adventurous, unafraid to perhaps step out of their comfort zones and curious about the different things out there to experience. This wonderfully wacky place is separated into zones all devoted to a certain theme, tradition, culture and access to these different areas, which has to be purchased. However, in true community spirit the EU countries have negotiated a deal where access to the belonging countries is free to all those holding fast track tickets, enabling exposure to a whole range of new sights and free movement of it’s people.

Just like any good theme park, there is a ride that is deeply dangerous, almost always avoided and barely ever dared to endure. This is the one that pulls your weightless, shaking body slowly up to the tallest peak in the land, suspends you there and then plummets you to the ground. This is the departure from the EU.

Exclusive to fast track holders only it is the most speculated ride in the park, hundreds of feet tall demanding everybody’s attention and fear. You are strapped in standing on your own two feet, reminding yourself that you did collectively volunteer for this, the ride has gradually been rising until it is at its tallest point, you have the best views of the park but your happiness is clouded by the doubt.

The wriggle in the back of your mind reminding you that you can and you will drop at any point, this is it, you’re at your peak, but you won’t be for long. You know at any moment that the gut-wrenching feeling will appear, anticipating the drop and your heart to plummet, just standing unable to take it all in waiting for that sudden shift only very few know the exact timing of.

This is it. It is the time for our hearts leap into our throats. For all these beautiful prospects fall from around us. It’s the moment we sink into an unknown darkness, the moment we leave our fast track tickets behind, the moment we leave the EU.

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